Title: Ordinary World
Pairing: Jack/Ianto (implied)
Summary: Ianto deals with Jack's death in "End of Days"
A/N: My entry into this week's Writer in a Drawer. The prompt was Duran Duran songs, with the proviso that we had to use a lyric somehow. The song made me think so much of this moment that I won't be able to listen to it again without thinking of Ianto.
Gray. My eyes are gray, the Hub is gray, your coat is gray. You are gray.
Gwen keeps saying you're not dead, that you'll come back, and so I stay away from Gwen, and your body. I want it to be true, but it can't be. Lisa was supposed to come back, and then came reality. When I lost Lisa, I decided that I won't cry for yesterday any more.
And so I circle the Hub.
I try some semblance of my ordinary routine. Make the coffee, dump the trash, save the world--no, that was you. I must keep moving, I can't be still. If I'm still, I see you in the corner of my eye. I can't escape the ghost of you. Go away, Jack. Come back, Jack.
Toshiko is following me around the Hub with her eyes, her swollen eyes watching me everywhere I go. I suppose she's worried. Maybe it keeps her mind off her own grief to think about mine, I don't know, I can't bear it.
Owen huddles into himself. I should have killed him, I'm sorry I didn't just fucking kill him, Jack. I don't have to now. He may just do it for me.
I go into your office because there's no place left to go.
In the desk drawer there's a stopwatch. Your coat is gray, and it smells of you. What is happening to me? What happened to you, and how could I have let it? Go away, Jack. Come back, Jack.
No, you're not coming back. Lisa's gone, you're gone. I kept vigil over her for months and no amount of vigil over you will bring you back, either, Jack. Goddammit, Gwen! go home go home I survived it once I'm not sure I can survive it again goddammit Gwen go home--